Sharing the Breastfeeding Journey: Co-Nursing

This article is part 2 of a series on ways individuals have found to navigate breastfeeding. You can read part 1 here.

Co-nursing means that both the birth parent and the non-birth parent participate in breastfeeding. This creates a win-win-win scenario. 

For the baby, it means more opportunities to breastfeed and bonding time with both parents.

For the parents, it means having the most concrete support for breastfeeding possible. A meaningful experience to share with each other. And, of course, all of the documented health benefits of breastfeeding.

But just because it’s a process with incredible results, doesn’t mean it’s an easy path. 

We talked to 2 parents, Haley and Sara Stephens. Both are faculty in the Department of Pediatrics at UVA Health Children’s, and they knew all about the medical benefits of breastfeeding. They’d seen LGBTQ+ supportive providers. So, they knew that inducing lactation and co-nursing was possible.

What Led to Choosing to Induce Lactation?

Haley: I was the gestational parent for our twins, and it was always my goal to breastfeed. We knew that nursing twins is a lot of work, and Sara was immediately interested in inducing lactation.

Sara: I followed the Newman Goldfarb protocol. I had a great response, and I was producing milk before the twins arrived.

Welcome to the NICU

Their twins were born prematurely, at 34 weeks and 5 days. Like many babies born prematurely, they remained in the NICU until close to their due date.

NICU babies often aren’t ready to latch and nurse. That means navigating the NICU, breast pumps, and — for Sara and Haley — policies that needed to be adjusted.

Haley: In 2019, when our twins were born, UVA Health had never had a non-gestational parent give their milk to a baby in the NICU. But the medical team scrambled to adjust their policies and protocols to allow Sara to give her milk to our children, rather than having them consume donated milk or formula.

My milk had not come in enough yet to feed the premature babies what they needed. So they thrived almost exclusively on Sara’s milk delivered by NG tube while we awaited my supply.

Sara: Haley and I were pumping every 3 hours around the clock to produce milk. It was exhausting, but it was so wonderful to do it together. We were able to encourage each other and hold each other accountable for pumping. I did not like waking up in the middle of the night, but Haley was a champ about setting the alarm and getting us up and pumping.